A Few Things I'm on Strike From
Special Sunday edition because this week tried to kill me (all of us?) 🎀
Hi friends!
Well, that was another crispy week for the annals of unhingement. It’s getting biblical out there — New York City was underwater, Paris is infested, and the airborne plague remains. No major apocalypto events in my neighborhood this week, just the usual humdrum of urban decay in the form of a rat chewing though my bathroom ceiling on Wednesday night. Like, pardon me, can I help you? The global rat community is really thriving right now and that feels on brand for them. As for the rest of us, we’re just doing our best and that is always good enough.
All this chaos and weirdness has me in the mood to try something different and I’m creating space in my life for what’s next. That’s the upside of being so fucking over it, if you get a bit ballsy, you can negotiate a whole new deal. And in that spirit, I’d like to honor one of the year’s hottest trends, going on strike, and share a few things I’m hoping for a fairer situation with soon.
Time
It’s seemingly October. Blink once and this sassy year will be taking its curtain call. Things really picked up speed around April and here we find ourselves, in Q4, sometimes knowing what day it is. I am very done with time’s unceasing passage right now and need like a month or two to pause it all, go to a beachy island with great papayas and… sleep.
I guess I don’t need to alter the fabric of time to take an extended vacation, but I can’t even wrap my head around the concept of 2024. It feels like we’ve lost so much time already, I just want a break to reset, regroup, and then get back into the game of life — a metaphysical intermission of sorts. If anyone knows string theory, let me know if you can help.
Are we negotiating? Yes, duh. Negotiating with time is a core element of being human and the root of any existential crisis worth its salt.
Covid
I can’t believe how back this bitch is. I can’t deal with her — as a thing, as a threat, as a memory. I won’t put on a mask but I will be visibly disgusted at anyone coughing in my pilates class. At this point, an increase in vigilance would end me. And, yes, I have the immune system of a vaccinated ox, so I will acknowledge my privilege, but I’m not even usually a hypochondriac and have had psychosomatic covid at least a dozen times so I, too, have my burdens.
There are no rules to dealing with this anymore, just neurosis and misbehavior and trying not to get sick when everyone else is. Like all of us, covid has evolved over the past few years, and though it’s not the threat it once was, there’s still something surreal to me about everyone constantly getting the virus I once watched Dr. Sanjay Gupta demonstrate how to wipe down takeout to avoid.
Are we negotiating? Negotiations have stalled on account of it’s truly all so gross and I need to just not with it right now.
Energy Vampires
For the past few months I have had the battery life of an iPhone 8. This is not an era where most of us have much juice to spare and the energy vampires can sense it. Energy vampires and their draining ilk — the vibe snatchers, misery martyrs, and corporate gaslighters — must be banished from the kingdom before they can deplete us any further.
We need a new social contract where vibes are minded at all times. No one has the time or energy for the psychic triage needed after taking on other people’s problems or cleaning up their messes against your will. I intend to end this year recharged and shan’t be spending my time with people or in situations that send me towards one foot in the grave.
Are we negotiating? No. We don’t negotiate with terrorists, we put all the money we spent on therapy to good use and hold boundaries. Boundaries are the energetic version of garlic, and without unchecked access, the vampires will vanish.
You’re all very welcome to join me on the picket lines, no pressure. Sending you lots of strength for the week ahead — October’s gonna be really good, I can feel it! And if you think that’s too optimistic a take, someone was recently arrested for Tupac’s murder, so truly, anything is possible.
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™️
Liz
You get me 🤗