Hot Takes on August
When the elements are as unhinged as the mugshots.
Hi friends!
How’s everyone doing as this bizarre, intense summer inches to a close? Me — I just need to lay down this weekend with some good housewife programming, find the right dose of edible, and indulge in a chocolate-factory-grandparent-esque, multi-day, transcendent siesta. It was not my plan to spend summer ‘23 hunched over my demented little laptop, triggered by the Slack noise, while still trying to have a life, but you know what they say about plans — make plans and the vibes laugh.
I couldn’t let this banner month in the Age of Unhingement™️ end without a little commentary, so I found the world’s teeny-tiniest defibrillator, shocked my last three braincells back to life, and here we are, ready to discuss the weather.
This planet has had enough of our bullshit and is now throwing punches. It’s humanity’s nonsense vs. Earth’s enduring cycles and it’s not looking good for us unless we change our wicked ways.
The elements teamed up to destroy us this summer — wind drove the catastrophic, heartbreaking wildfires in Maui, water from massive flooding ravaged Slovenia, melting glaciers in Alaska washed full buildings away while fires raged in Canada, and here in SoCal, we contended with a Hurriquake, an earth/water disaster hybrid that Hollywood now has AI developing for Vin Diesel while the unions picket in this relentless heat.
The heat this summer was a nasty convergence of fossil-fueled climate change, El Niño, and potentially also trapped water vapor from the massive volcanic eruption off the coast of Tonga last year. It was deadly for some and unnerving for all and a preview of what’s to come if we maintain the status quo.
I’m scared but hopeful, I think we are capable of great change and figuring out a way to band together and create the paradigm shift we need to survive this. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but the one thing I do know is that despite what a lot of commenters across social media seem to believe — the Jews are not controlling this weather, we’d be way more organized.
If you know me well, you know I love the moon and how it quietly and powerfully puppet-masters us from afar. The sun is a bit much — like, love her, but she’s been a lot this summer, needs to chill, and is giving melanoma. The moon is understated as it controls ocean tides, syncs menstrual cycles, and makes people completely fucking nuts. All this power while looking incredible? A true icon of the sky. Last night’s super full blue moon was a moment and I loved seeing everyone paying their respects. Once in a blue moon is now, and the great unfolding of a new chapter is upon us.
My day one subscribers may recall how boring I found Trump’s first indictment to be. But we let that story unfold, and now we finally have his perfect scowly mugshot, and a collect-them-all trading card set of his deranged homies to match. My official take on Trump at this point — dangerous judiciary appointments aside — is that he flew way too close to the sun and should have stayed in the entertainment industry with the other predatory, attention-seeking megalomaniacs. Trump is a brilliant insult comic who could have stayed and slayed on TV. But no, he wanted to run the free world and fucked everything up and now he’s going to end up in jail.
The characters are already assembling to make this trial as unhinged as we need it to be. I’m a little bit scared for all of us and what watching this on live TV might do to our fragile collective consciousness, but also hopeful that the pussy hats can get another moment to shine. The people who made Trump their whole personality — his haters and supporters — are gearing up to follow every moment. No one needs to touch grass more than Donald Trump, but once this trial hits our screens, we will all be close behind.
I haven’t been paying close attention to the presidential race yet, we’re more than a year out from the election, and as a Canadian who can’t vote in this country, I need to preserve some dignity and let that one unfold, too. But I don’t think Trump has a chance in hell of winning again, one of the other demons, goblins, or geriatrics in contention will take it on home.
And though I am historically mid on Hillary Clinton, her looking so good, a guest by chance on MSNBC the night of Trump’s most serious indictment yet, was karmically gorgeous and must be acknowledged. If her megawatt smile of vindication isn’t my vibe for the rest of the year, then I dunno what is. Hill and I are both Scorpios, and getting the last laugh is everything to our culture.
What a month it was, and I didn’t even bring up Lizzo or that lady who saw something on the plane and the conspiracy theorists having a fucking field day with her apology video. The hellish project that has been taking up most of my time is wrapping up next week, fingers crossed, so we should be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon.
Hope we all get exactly the weekend we need and start September refreshed and ready to see what unfolds!
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™️
Liz