How To Stay Sane During World War III
5 practical tips for unhinged times.
Hi friends!
I’m working on a womanifesto right now, the kind that needs time to gestate because everything is so fucking nuts (understatement), and, honestly, after a long winter trapped in the skin cancer bell jar (metaphysically) and my apartment (physically) as I nursed myself back to health and watched everyone lose it over the news, I have about one million flaming hot takes. My brain feels like a tangled ball of yarn. ALSO, I recently regained the ability to actually read. Like, not just scan a page with my eyeballs, but read. What a revelation for my flaming hot takes. It must be from quitting TikTok at the end of last year. First, I stared at the wall. Then, I regained my literacy.
Untangling the yarn ball between my ears, after this latest escalation in World War III, was not on my agenda this week. So, when my dear friend, former colleague, and collaborator in matriarchal co-leadership, Jill, pitched the idea for this dispatch by saying she wanted “practical tips” on staying sane, I was thrilled. Like a radio station in 1993, I take requests, but only if you call me.
5 Practical Tips for Staying Sane During World War III
1. Stop Consuming Sorrow
Certain types are so deeply invested in media consumption martyrdom that they think ingesting a constant stream of abject despair means they are the righteous iPhone holders. Consuming the most violence and sorrow in the name of social justice does not put you on the “right side of history.” History is not a moral line that bifurcates the past; history is a narrative crafted to suit the needs of whoever is in power. You know who owns the platforms you’re destroying your mental health on? THE MAN. Get a fucking grip.
You will not feel well if you are overstuffed with bad news because there is no way to healthily digest these politics.
To be clear, I don’t suggest being uninformed or looking away from all that has recently been revealed, but I do suggest, at this juncture, we take inventory of what we’re consuming and see if there’s a way to expunge some of this terror. We are experiencing multiple disorienting crises, and one of them is the proliferation of brain-damaging, doom-casting, deepfaking technology.
We are not meant to consume this much sorrow or be this confused by reality. If consuming less content makes you feel like you’re not doing your part, consider actually doing something.
2. Get Into Crying
So, how do we process all the sorrow we’ve already consumed? I say it’s high time we let it all out as we wail like a troupe of Sicilian widows.
Put on your best black veil, sweetie. Normalcy died a long time ago. Now we’re going to grieve its passing.
I don’t want to be too prescriptive on how you let the sorrow out. If you’re more of a primal screamer, I can see that working. Or maybe you prefer to emote through interpretive dance. I just think we all need a cathartic hobby, and mine is crying. Whenever I need to. Mostly in the privacy of my own home, but after the past two months, I’m now open to showcasing my expert practice publicly.
Did you know that crying literally removes stress hormones from our bodies? Stress tears are full of cortisol. Crying also floods our brains with oxytocin and other nice chemicals that naturally boost mood and relieve pain (physical and emotional). Everyone wants the plush cheek collagen of a baby, but no one wants to reduce their wrinkle-forming stress by crying like one shamelessly.
3. Be Very Kind
One of my master theories on human behavior, in this demented individualistic “society,” is that the level of kindness and generosity someone exhibits externally is a direct reflection of how kind and forgiving their inner monologue is. No one needs to be doing the most right now. Instead of listening to the rudest voice in your head, please give the mic to one that’s more compassionate.
It’s time to accept that nobody is perfect: not you, not me, and definitely not the people performing the hardest on our social feeds. Expecting perfection, when we need to embrace humility and be grateful for safety if we have it, is a sure pathway to disappointment. Instead, let’s make being very kind to ourselves and others a habit.
Tell a stranger you like their hat. Don’t be a bitch on Slack. Smile at your neighbors when you’re out in the neighborhood. Send an old friend you haven’t talked to recently a warm and lovely text. Ask them to get coffee if they live in your city. Invite them over for dinner better yet.
Show up for your people. Let new ones in. We need to reshape our lives away from isolation. The tech villains aren’t changing their business models, but we can be there for each other again. In all of our unhinged imperfection.
4. Pay Your Sanity Tolls
Over these past few tumultuous years, while trying not to lose my mind and succeeding triumphantly, I have come to pay my “sanity tolls” regularly. Some of these “sanity tolls” are quite literal — $12 (including a generous tip) for a latte and croissant from my favorite coffee shop where I am always treated to excellent morning chit chat. That $12 is money well spent, because I am a very social writer who lives alone and works remotely. If I don’t start my day with human interaction, I perish by 2PM.
Exercise is another “sanity toll” that must be paid. You don’t even need to spend any money — walking is free and wonderful for mental stability. Almost too many studies have linked an increase in physical activity with a decrease in depression. Get off your ass. Spring is almost here. Let’s all, if we are physically well enough, move abundantly. Before I was forced to take a (torturous) break this winter, I was practicing yoga daily, and during a very difficult time last year, it saved me. Time heals all and I returned to my favorite yoga class last week. It was so glorious to be well enough to down dog with the other regulars that I wept in Savasana.
Caring for yourself is not the same as optimizing your body. The simple things that bring joy when times are tough have nothing to do with productivity. A thriving group chat is not the same as putting in the effort to leave your house and see your friends regularly. In this warring world that’s trying to trick us into becoming those recliner people in WALL-E, there are “sanity tolls” that need to be paid to nurture our humanity.
5. Create
Making things is fun. Having fun is important for sanity. Sharing the things you make connects you with like-minded people, and that builds community.
You don’t have to share your creations, though, if that feels like a barrier. But I encourage you to break the cycle of endless consumption by creating something from nothing. Not as a side hustle or an attempt at viral fame and fortune, but as a way to express yourself authentically with little to no expectation. Especially if you typically earn your living by selling your creativity in this collapsing media economy.
I get that not everyone wants to invite in, and commune with, the muse, so maybe your best approach is … gardening? If you start growing tomatoes, by the end of summer, water them right, and you can make a delicious vat of sauce that lasts you until 2027.
The world is on fire but there is solace to be found in making things and enjoying them together.
I hope you enjoyed my utmost practical tips on how to cling to your diminishing sanity. Take great care of yourselves, as best as you can, and if you have any of your own tips to add to the mix, I think we would all really love to read them:
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™
Liz
