Put Him in a Straitjacket and Wheel His Ass Out
For the love of god make it stop.
Hi friends!
So, like, what are we gonna do? Because this man has got to go. He’s driving every tender-hearted creature AND the world economy to the brink. Declaring his intention to off an entire civilization in a social media post was a dramatic new low, even for him, and he needs to seek treatment for dementia far away from the nuclear codes.
“This president is unfit, unwell, and unhinged,” Derrick Johnson, President and CEO of the NAACP, said on Tuesday, in an unprecedented statement calling to invoke the 25th Amendment. Since I’m already Dolezal-ing out hard in my new spiritual home, Bed-Stuy, it only makes sense that I join the NAACP … in calling for Donald Trump’s immediate removal from office.
We can’t keep living like this.
As previously discussed, I aspire to ignore the news: My spirit, my choice. I’m too fragile. The apocalyptic play-by-play threatens to eat the one crumb of sanity I have left. My precious sanity crumb only remains because I’m inhabiting fresh scenery, working West Coast hours on the East Coast, enabling the best morning routine of my life — coffee and writing crazy shit in my journal, followed by 10am yoga (a civilized hour), then a second coffee and an exquisite, giant bagel — and nobody bothering me before noon. Until Tuesday, when this man gassed up his puffy little Twitter fingers to put the world in fight or flight around 8am local time. Some of us had yet to sip our first coffee before reading the phrase “a whole civilization will die tonight.” Some of us like to start the day by catching up on a few Instagram stories and were not prepared to see a screenshot declaring a deadline for instant genocide. Some of us are more sensitive than others, but this level of darkness is not easily metabolized.
I personally have no control over Donald Trump’s behavior, so I try very hard not to let it infiltrate my psyche to the point of ruining my day. Sometimes I even succeed. But Tuesday’s declaration hit my defenses like a flaming sledgehammer, and it wasn’t until 8pm, when I finished work for the day, broke my streak of intentional weed sobriety, sucked back a much-needed entire joint on the stoop, and ate some extremely good Chinese food, that I returned to any semblance of feeling steady.
We are in a situation here. Those of us not directly in harm’s way in World War Trois are being psychologically terrorized by a reality TV villain who is executive producing the collapse of Western society. Bravo, Donald. You’ve bent reality far beyond TV. Here are all the Galactic Emmy Awards®. Now, can you set the planet free?
Just leaving this here for you, my beautiful friends:
I’m feeling quite reflective on BIAD’s Road to 100, and so, please indulge me in harking back to the last time this fucking guy did something so remarkably insane that it spurred me to write an entire rant dedicated to his evil ass here in the official annals of the Age of Unhingement™. I do think his PEACE 2025 brand activation from late last year, which led me to declare that I was moving to a convent with no WiFi, counts. But, if I’m being an absolute purist, the last time he made my head explode directly into your inbox was right before the election in 2024, when he took over the aux at one of his rallies for nearly 40 minutes and swayed like a madman to a bizarre playlist. At first, I was so over him that I didn’t even find it funny, but then I did (I’m only human), and then it got me thinking:
In 2016, Trump took over America’s aux and turned his horrible playlist up to 11. He has dominated American culture for the past eight years as we’ve all watched him sway and been forced to listen. He lost the last election, he staged a coup, was impeached twice, and has 34 felony convictions. All that and we remain powerless to pull the plug on him.
I shan’t add what’s happened since to that laundry list. No need to relive it on the precipice of what I pray will be a restorative weekend for all of us. But, at the time, I said, “If Trump gets another term, he has concepts of a plan to do enough horrendous shit that Satan himself must be inspired.” And now he is beefing so aggressively with the Vatican and its first American-born pontiff, who was basically elected to reign in this spiritual mess, that Pope Leo, while Trump is still president, reportedly may not even visit the US.
Pope Leo used his address on Easter Sunday to urge world leaders to choose peace. Two days later we all woke up and read Trump’s threat.
When revisiting my thoughts from 2024, I was struck by my own lucidity in realizing there would be nowhere to hide from a second Trump presidency. Knowing my homeland of Canada was too close for comfort, even before the annexation threats, “perhaps I can go live with that one Amazonian tribe, and use their Starlink to work remotely,” I said.
Well, here we are. 18 months later, Trump still has the aux and is now blasting his psychotic music worldwide. It just keeps getting louder and DJ Epstein’s Ghost showing up with his crate of vintage emails didn’t even helpfully shift the vibe.
I am still off TikTok and have no plans to relapse, but I obviously have a trusted friend who keeps me updated on the platform’s prolific psychics and their collective hallucinations. And, once again, they are announcing Trump’s imminent death. It is seductive to believe that the grim reaper sashaying his way to Washington will finally bring peace and quiet, but if the TikTok psychics held any water, we would be sedated for recreation, not survival, on a different timeline laugh-tracked by President Kamala Harris. That, unfortunately, is not our reality. In our reality, an entire civilization was threatened over a trade route, an 11th-hour deal was brokered by Pakistan, and it was just another day at the office.
We now live with a level of uncertainty and fear that was once unthinkable. Some days, I can put on my noise-canceling headphones and drown out the dissonance. Other days, I stare at the wall in despair and wonder if I’ll ever form a thick enough emotional callous to survive whatever is coming next. But, during weeks like this one, when it’s so clear how the actions of a powerful few threaten to end the rest of us, I know that if we want a better future, we have to find a way to stay present.
It’s not easy to sit with what’s happening, especially when it feels like the matrix we relied on for safety is glitching, but it has been glitching for years. Believe me, I write extensively on the topic as a way to process it. And while my writing practice hasn’t (yet) magically given me the ability to get the aux back from Trump as the nice men in white coats I’ve called wheel him out of office, it has taught me so much about the kind of person I want to be in a world that is openly embracing cruelty and violence.
So, today, I want to leave you with a simple reminder: We are all in this together and there are still good, like-minded people out there. You can also believe me on this, because I know who subscribes to my newsletter. It’s not a demographic so much as a type of person who, I’m assuming, isn’t a hateful sack of shit, but a kind and decent human being who can’t take this insanity anymore either.
And while we can’t get Trump to stop blasting his noise, I think it’s beautiful that we’re all here, having a kumbaya silent disco with one another.
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™
Liz
I can’t tell you how much it helps knowing I’m not screaming into a vacuum, but that there are others screaming too. (And I’m thinking of it as a virtual reality silent disco from now on)
Yes. I think about people who aren’t built for, or bolstered by, modern distractions. There are many. I watched the astronauts with envy. Imagine the peace of watching the planet from afar and feeling its insignificance.