The Rise of the Cacklers

Let us live, let us laugh, let us love every twisted moment.

Hi friends!

Now that the strains of “My Heart Will Go On” have finally faded, I would like to honor a moment of silence for the absolute social media hootenanny that was the Titan submersible. Last week was special, and we reached a new high, or low, depending on who you ask. But to me it felt like, as the TikTok soothsayers say, a jump to our most abundant timeline. We deserved that and we earned that. We have been through so much together, and we needed that moment, collectively turning our backs on the notion of “too soon” to cackle freely at some of the best work the extremely online community has ever presented.

Dark clown supremacy is just where we’re at now, culturally. I simply can’t do life straight-faced anymore, not in a world where both Grimace and the Titanic have infiltrated the collective consciousness in such a startling way. In an our unhinged era where hard-won rights are being stripped away and economic uncertainty hangs heavy in the air, we need a way to cope.

We’re halfway through this crazy ass year and let me live up to my reputation as a stoned Nostradamus who just bought new denim shorts from Zara and guarantee you that it’s not getting any saner — politically or comedically. The Earth is literally off its axis, babe. But it’s OK, we have each other, our abundant cackles, and the morbid curiosity to keep going and see what happens next.

Me enjoying a little cackle as a treat.

I’m still hopeful that the Zuckerberg vs. Musk cage fight¹ will happen, a billionaire brouhaha for the ages featuring two men who have way too much control over the flow of information and none over their own fragile egos. That whole UFC/beta male with something to prove/punching and kicking vibe is usually not for me, but this, oh this I gotta see. My money’s not on either one of them, it’s on the content being sublime.

Being an irrepressible showcase for the world’s comedic talents is social media’s greatest contribution to society. These dirty little algorithms are trying to elicit an emotional reaction and cackling is so much healthier than the other options² — unresolvable outrage, conspiracy-fueled paranoia, or accidentally joining a cult. If those two lunatic billionaires want to get into an octagon in Vegas and fight it out, we will all win as we roast them for days on their very own platforms. If laughter is the best medicine, then billionaire folly is up there with Ozempic — our most relevant drug — inject me… please!

One day, when I throw my phone into an active volcano, achieving freedom at last, I will miss the memes most of all. The humor of the internet age really has something for everyone, I’m sure there’s a lady on Facebook named Carol who is tickled by a little joke so completely wholesome and unimaginable to my deranged millennial mind. But for me, and probably you, and millions of our comrades in cackles, it has gone so, so dark. And if that’s what living through the past few years has done to us, then c’est la vie.

Not sure how much lower we can go than the submersible, but let’s see what terrestrial and extraterrestrial delights Q3 and Q4 of 2023 will bring. One thing I know for sure is that the weirder shit gets, the quicker it alchemizes into cackle-worthy gold. And now that we’ve sunk so low — and imploded our collective boundaries around the impropriety of it all — there are only new depths for us to explore together.

See you in hell, gorgeous. I’ll save you a seat at the swim up bar.

Less Lessons More Blessin’s™️

Liz

1. Yes, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have been threatening to fight each other in a cage. It’s a whole fucking thing. Musk’s mommy put her foot down then it seemed like it was off??? But now he’s working out with UFC fighters and Zuckerberg has agreed to Vegas. Only time will tell…

2. Honorable mention to shopping, which isn’t an emotion, but a conduit to pure bliss, and the best use of Instagram, the world’s premier mall.