We're All Being Sanewashed
Yes, I watched the debate.
Hi friends!
These vibes have me cooked. My left eye is twitching again. I procrastinated writing this newsletter for like three days because I didn’t want to think about the debate, but we all know I watched it, and boy oh boy do I have some takes. Pour a bev, take a seat, let’s get into it.
The Burn It All Down Hot 5™️ is back and it’s time to count down the top hits of the week:
At number 5, we have concepts of a plan.
Here’s the biggest problem with Donald Trump1 — he’s too zingy with the one liners for an aspiring autocrat. Watching him lie and hiss and get all riled up on Tuesday made me laugh out loud at least 17 times. Problematic because he’s a literal threat to the planet and I hate him so much.
Out of the wig and suit, Donald could pass for a sun-bleached Jabba the Hut. I know he won’t do another debate, but if that changes, they should hold it at a fucking cantina. Or maybe not, the high camp setting would likely exacerbate the issue — how frequently the words coming out of his little butthole mouth crack me up.
“Concepts of a plan” was my favorite line of the night because it’s relatable content. I have made a whole career of having concepts of a plan. What do you think a “social media strategist” does? I tell people which memes to post based on “insights” that I pull out of my ass because I hate doing math. That’s not a “concept” or a “plan,” it’s “concepts of a plan,” and that’s all I need because I’m good at talking and when you’re a good talker, the plan is the concept and the concept is the plan. But I’m not suggesting we dismantle health care access for a nation, so I get to be as loosey goosey as I please.
I’m sure everyone with ADHD in the “concepts of a plan” community can agree that we rule and need much better representation than Donald Trump as the bloated face of snorting prescription speed.
At number 4, we have let them eat cat.
On Wednesday morning, I got a phone call from a friend who will remain nameless for their own sake (you’ll see). Traveling for work in Europe, they slept through the debate and woke up to the demented discourse: executed babies, trans alien surgery in prison, dogs and cats now on the menu for Haitians seeking refuge in the United States.
Of course, they had to get me on the horn immediately to run through the hot topics list, and I get bored working from home, so I take every call I possibly can. When we landed on “they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats,” my friend asked the question on no one else’s mind: If people are hungry and desperate enough to kill and eat a cat, they clearly need to be fed, so why not let them eat cat?
Close enough. Welcome back Marie Antoinette.
Here’s the thing, imaginary cat eaters living in hostile towns full of racist assholes who love posting on Facebook are not the only ones starving in America — real people struggle to feed themselves every single day. The United States is the richest country in the world, but in 2023, nearly 37 million of its residents were living below the poverty line. Unlike the narratives being spewed by the Trump campaign, Elon Musk, and their piece of shit ilk, that’s not a conspiracy theory, it’s a cold, hard fact.
So why did the most important debate of this election spend that much time on racist pet eating myths when income inequality is bonkers and the cost of living is pushing more and more people into debt? Because it’s the Age of Unhingement™️ and we spend our time defending the last shreds of reality from demagogues rather than proposing a workable solution to the problem at hand. Also, how many people could the budget for the DNC have fed?
At number 3, we have prosecute the baby.
Despite Trump’s best efforts to rub a magic lamp in the middle of getting his ass handed to him and turn Kamala Harris into Joe Biden, she’s very not him. She’s much hotter and better at triggering the tantrums.
President Uncle Joe (fact check) is indeed out of bed and romping around. He’s “doing 9/11.” He’s cracking jokes. I’d like to honor the journey we’ve been on — we did it, we got rid of Joe. And Kamala Harris almost called Donald Trump a motherfucker on live TV, so America is dating up now.
My gorl Kamala destroyed this man and gave us at least 7 solid reaction GIFs we could have used in 2014. We didn’t get a TikTok sound from her, but she baited Trump to implosion so many times that he delivered what we need. Honestly, it’s very Madam President to let him take the meme lead.
Kamala was so composed and clear when she answered questions that “rumors” alleged she wore a pearl-camouflaged earpiece. She was actually wearing a pair of Tiffany earrings — but that didn’t stop the CEO of an “audio earrings” company from using the conspiracy for clout in a LinkedIn post.
If we’re going to have an ear-based conspiracy moment, I think it needs to be a deep dive into how Donald Trump’s bullet-grazed flesh was left unmarked — I’ve had cartilage piercings that were healing worse at two months out.
At number 2, we have unleash the beast.
T. Swift’s endorsement of K. Harris gave us a lot: instructions to “do research” in an era where media literacy is more attuned to hopping on trends than thinking critically, AI admonishment, additional earned impressions for cats (what a week for cats), Trump supporters selling concert tickets, people yelling in comments sections about how she’s a billionaire and hasn’t said anything about Gaza, and balding men on cable news wondering if her fans are even old enough to vote.
I’m a never Trump guy so I’m all for political posturing when it helps keep him out of office. Just one IG post from the reigning queen of parasocial relationship marketing™️ and over 400,000 people clicked a link to register to vote. How many of them actually registered is a mystery, but we know it was at least 1,300 in Wisconsin, famously a swing state.
The pop girlie involvement in this election is wild. So is the unchecked power of artificial intelligence in a dizzying media kaleidoscope that favors fiction over fact. One of the most powerful women in the world has a right to take a stand when Donald Trump colludes with the machines to appropriate her image.
Will this endorsement actually have an impact come November? We know Trump is spooked because he’s writing in his burn book even though one new poll is saying no. But, like, how would we even know — who are they polling in this fragmented culture of ours? What I do know is that having a strong take against Taylor Swift’s motivations is giving “shut up and sing,” and there’s a good chunk of the social justice-oriented commentariat that should reflect on what’s at stake for women and the LGBTQ+ community and why they’re so offended by this influential woman throwing her hat in the endorsement ring.
And at number 1 this week, we have sanewashing.
This past Monday, I was tap-tapping my way through some Instagram stories when I saw a post shared by my wonderful friend Gwynedd, who is my favorite curator of political outrage. “THE MEDIA ARE SANEWASHING TRUMP” declared a heavily designed carousel of excerpts from an article written by
, who also writes a brilliant newsletter dissecting how fucked up the media is.Molloy rightfully argues that the mainstream media has consistently sanitized the crazy shit Trump says. “Sanewashing,” in this context, is media malpractice and a form of misinformation:
By laundering Trump’s words in this fashion, the media is actively participating in the erosion of our shared reality. When major news outlets consistently present a polished version of Trump’s statements, they create an alternate narrative that exists alongside the unfiltered truth available on social media and in unedited footage.
A shared reality? We don’t know her. And, yes, Trump is a menace to democracy and should be fact-checked, called out, and ideally erased from my brain.
But “sanewashing” is my new favorite term, and I think it extends far beyond how the media covers Trump. It’s not just him, it’s not just the shambolic state of American politics, everything is so fucking insane, and yet, we all march on as if everything’s fine.
We’re all being sanewashed hard and put away wet within an inch of our lives.
Life is weird now and it’s getting weirder. And it’s especially weird for those of us who spend too much time online. I would love to scapegoat technology for the weirdness, but I think it traces back to pre-industrial times. America is a nation with a “sanewashed” identity — an image rooted in freedom while the country was built by slaves on stolen land. That shit has always been insane. Our polarized discourse, just its latest phase.
During the debate, there were two opposing realities on display. In Donald Trump, I saw the “sanewashing” of everything he represents: white supremacy, misogyny, sexual violence, being a nasty, entitled crook because despite a zillion bankruptcies, he can still pay his way out of trouble. In Kamala Harris, I saw an embodied, powerful woman, a brilliant politician who delivered a message of competency and hope. Is she perfect? No. She’s a politician who apparently loves fracking. But she represents a seismic shift towards the future, not a regurgitation of the past that deserves to be locked the fuck away.
I know there is an enormous demo that would rather hear an angry old man rant and rave than listen to a woman say anything. Trust me, my life is the field work. But every sane-ish person asked themselves the same question after watching those two go head-to-head: How could anyone ingest that and still think Trump is fit to be king? Yes, king. This whole situation is giving Shakespeare on acid. If only Trump would step aside, let his deranged political allies destroy each other, retreat to a heath, and stop bringing the “inside job” conspiracy theorist he’s allegedly fucking (ew) to 9/11 events.
Are the angry death rattles of the dusty patriarchy going to win? Will America elect its first female president, a woman who is clearly Black, no matter what Trump in this perfect filter might say? Or will it be a secret third thing we can’t even fathom yet?
It’s all too much. And that’s why sometimes the “sanewashing” comes from inside the house. The prevailing opinion is that social media has weakened culture, and that’s totally true if you’re decrying algorithms as the new tastemakers or wondering why everyone’s into all the same dumb things at the same dumb time. But these platforms have also been a boon to the creation of a certain type of culture — the culture of taking the most insane shit and alchemizing it into the jokes we need to powerwash the insanity away.
And that culture was on full display this week. Most notably with the remixes of “they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats” on TikTok. They reached such critical mass that Antoine Dodson himself — the original newsy autotune star of 2010’s most viral YouTube video — reappeared on my FYP. The flat circle of virality is now complete and somewhere an as yet undiscovered sinkhole opened up that will eventually grow to swallow the internet whole.
I’ll leave you there because this is getting long and the FBI says someone may have tried to assassinate Trump again. I’m going to go outside now and make full skin-on-grass contact so the sanity can wash itself back into my brain.
Until next time!
Less Lessons More Blessin’s™️
Liz
Hyperbole — as if I could ever choose!
🤣 that was an enjoyable read. They are confusing Haitians with Melmacians. It’s egregiously senseless.
That looks delicious... yum